- That runny nose does not mean you’re sick, it’s just cold outside. Kathy from accounting is the reason everyone else in the office is sick.
- The family takes you seriously, they only put you in charge of the drinks because you’re the youngest.
- It’s socially acceptable to use your neighbor’s yard debris can; some of those leaves came from their trees.
- You’ve already had a lot of sugar today, one more slice of that sweet, sweet pie won’t make a difference.
- This year you will join that gym. You should definitely tell your significant other to gift you workout gear, you’ll wear it often.
- Daylight savings time is the only reason you’re still sleepy at noon.
- You’re not shaving your legs because you’re fighting the patriarchy. It’s a feminist statement, you’ll shave them again when you CHOOSE to.
- You’re the fun aunt, so you can get away with wrapping their gifts in brown paper bags or old editions of the Portland Mercury.
- You’ll set your fantasy football lineup in the morning.
- Your niece isn’t going to remember if you go to her school’s holiday-neutral, yet somehow still culturally insensitive program. You can have one more drink.
- Don’t worry, it’s just seasonal depression. Some of us are better off only thinking about three months at a time.
- This Ugly Christmas Sweater party will be different than the others.
- You’re not being lazy, that jack-o-lantern will totally last and definitely count as a Thanksgiving decoration. It’s just practical.
Written by R\West Art Director, Anna Mae Naef