STUFF \\ Stuff To Lie To Yourself About, Fall Edition

November 5, 2018

  1. That runny nose does not mean you’re sick, it’s just cold outside. Kathy from accounting is the reason everyone else in the office is sick.
  2. The family takes you seriously, they only put you in charge of the drinks because you’re the youngest.
  3. It’s socially acceptable to use your neighbor’s yard debris can; some of those leaves came from their trees.
  4. You’ve already had a lot of sugar today, one more slice of that sweet, sweet pie won’t make a difference.
  5. This year you will join that gym. You should definitely tell your significant other to gift you workout gear, you’ll wear it often.
  6. Daylight savings time is the only reason you’re still sleepy at noon.
  7. You’re not shaving your legs because you’re fighting the patriarchy. It’s a feminist statement, you’ll shave them again when you CHOOSE to.
  8. You’re the fun aunt, so you can get away with wrapping their gifts in brown paper bags or old editions of the Portland Mercury.
  9. You’ll set your fantasy football lineup in the morning.
  10. Your niece isn’t going to remember if you go to her school’s holiday-neutral, yet somehow still culturally insensitive program. You can have one more drink.
  11. Don’t worry, it’s just seasonal depression. Some of us are better off only thinking about three months at a time.
  12. This Ugly Christmas Sweater party will be different than the others.
  13. You’re not being lazy, that jack-o-lantern will totally last and definitely count as a Thanksgiving decoration. It’s just practical.

 

Written by R\West Art Director, Anna Mae Naef

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